I fake things, we all fake things. Things such as smiles, being grown up, that we care about what he said she said he said.

There are also things I do not fake, being ill is one of them!!

I don’t know why people think that this is something I would fake. Recently I’ve found out that some body from my old job was telling other members of staff that I was faking being ill to skip out of work and get attention!

There are 2 major thing wrong with that statement, firstly I had the lowest amount of sick days with in my team despite being ill a lot of the time, and secondly if I’d wanted attention I’d get my boobs out, that’s easier.

If I was faking then I’d be a bloody good make up artist (I go pale and blue very quickly), I’d be healthy and feel fine when I wanted to go out (I am not and often miss out on things/nights out because I’m too tired or can feel myself getting ill) and a horrible person to put my friends and family through this, go to the doctors etc. for nothing.

If anything I fake feeling well. So many days I carry on like normal when actually I should be at home resting.

What I’m trying to say is that just because I seem well, and it might not be obvious that ill, I’d give anything not to be okay. So why would I fake it?

Why would I fake it?
Why?

If I was going to fake something to get me out of work and create attention etc I’d be way more imaginative. Really.

Its always awkward starting a new job, Uni or college, or in fact just meeting a new lot of people that you’re going to spend a lot of time with. I always find it a little awkward at any time so, throw in a long walk, hill or stairs and normally I just want to leave.
People react differently, some don’t let it make a difference, others ignore it, some flip out and stare when I’m ill and a funny colour.
So based on past experiences I’m always nervous about telling new people why I cannot do stuff and if they will freak out or not.
I've just started college (good life choice) and imagine my horror when both our class rooms are on high floors, one on the 5th and the other on the 3rd. Yes there is a lift but when all your new classmates walk up the stairs how do you go “errrm if I keep going up and down 5 flights of stairs I will fall over” its kinda hard, and you can just jump in the lift but then people think you’re lazy. Ehhhhhhhh. So after the first few days of taking the stairs (bad life choice) I had to just take the stairs and slowly tell people. I've mentioned this blog, we were talking about driving so a few more people know and I maybe (did) accidentally make an ‘I’m going to die’ joke to which a face of horror was pulled by someone (ooopsie). So now I've just had to start taking the (so slow) lift and casually asking if who wants to be my ‘lift buddy’ and apparently people do so that they don’t have to take the stairs. Hurrarrr everyone’s a winner!

So the lesson is, take the lift, don’t make jokes until people are more comfortable and people will be your ‘lift buddy’ because they don’t look lazy.
Lisa 1 – insane amounts of stairs 0.

edit- just had to go through and replace the word life with lift. We all know a ‘life buddy’ is the last thing I want.

A new guy started at my work this week and we were talking about stuff and life and something came up about me being old and tired (a running joke at work) and that I need to go and nap before I went out that evening. Somehow the conversation went to me being ill and he looked at me unsure if I was being serious, that kind of unknowing ‘will it be awkward if I ask’ look (and he wasn't so cool I’d have definitely made it awkward) and then he went ‘really? wouldn’t think it after meeting you.’

And that is exactly what I aim for.

Jokes, Lolz and Completely inappropriate!

I think its fair to say that when it comes to my health I should be a bit more serious, I don’t mean practically, I take my meds, get the bus avoid hills etc. I mean when it comes to discussing it.

You see I joke about, it makes things less scary, my family and closest friends joke about, that’s how we deal with it, perfect examples include the time we were looking at animal hearts (at the Nature inside out exhibition, not as a random daily activity), when I mentioned a old TV show called ‘Pig Heart Boy’ conversation then turned into us wondering if, if I ever did have to have a transplant that a). I would like a nice looking, as heart shaped as possible one please and b). I would totally fake the whole having the donors memories and feelings condition some people get, just to freak my friends out.

This is how many of our conversations about this sort of thing are played out. The other day I day I’d like to break Jennifer Ennis’ hurdle record, claiming it may be the last thing I ever do but ‘what a way to go ‘or the time a group of us were heading home from town and we got the night bus, one person asked why when we live a 20min walk away, my friend simply turned and said ‘she will die’. Simple and effective.

This is all fun and banter my friends and I have if and when the subject comes up, it makes it easier to deal with and, assuming you’re my friend and we are comfortable with each other its all jokes and lolz and this is how we like it.

I’d apologise for offending anyone, but its my heart and I’ll Joke if I want to.

I haven’t managed to make Iron infused cake (yet!) but I have had a wail of a time making Iron filled dinners and taking my new amazing liquid iron stuff and now its become a bit of a running joke between my friends and I.

Last week I tried the Iron tablets, however tablets and I don’t get on and these didn't even work crushed up with water in a shot glass (surprising considering my ability to demolish Jager shots). So last Saturday I spent my afternoon hunting Hove for some liquid Iron, which was harder to find than you would think! After heading to my local pharmacy, Superdrug and Boots I was left with 1 option and now like all the middle aged yummy Mummys out there I have a Holland and Barratt loyalty card!!!

So then I trekked off to Tesco to buy red meat, spinach and fruit juice and had a major flail as for the first time in ages I actually felt like and ill person, I was walking around Tesco armed with my list of foods I needed, not wanted and I flailed because I felt like I had to go and do this and suddenly my life in other ways than just taking medication. I had to think Iron. In the grand scheme of things this is ridiculous, and I am very aware that almost crying in the fresh meat department is really unnecessary but I couldn't help it.

Once I got home, loaded with shopping bags full of high Iron foods and fruit juice (to help absorb Iron) I felt a bit better and then I made an amazing Shepherd’s pie, with extra spinach, it was wonderful.

Stay tuned for more iron fuelled adventures, with no tears in the meat isle, and maybe I’ll make a Iron infused cake
(or Jager shot).

News just in; Serious iron deficiency anaemia is my new thing.
Bad news: more (brown) tablets.
Good news: Red meat ahoy!!! Show me the steak!!!

Eugh.
Wonder if I can make Iron infused cake???

When life gets me down and I get annoyed about the things I can’t do for whatever reason its always good to remind yourself of what you can do, and I can bake!

I’m pretty proud of these:

Recently I have had to pay my local hospital a few visits, normally I don’t bother and I always head up to London to see Mr Consultant. However a few months ago I found myself at my GP’s and then referred to the Local hospital and it was then that it was realised there are absolutely no notes of mine there anymore, they didn’t get passed on when I got to old for the children’s hospital and Mr Consultant hasn’t done clinics locally for years. This is not something I’ve ever given much thought to (I naively assumed that basic records would be available from the children’s hospital or because I’ve been there for tests or maybe via a NHS internal-web-like system) but apparently this is a major problem as I was told by an A+E doctor “If you get hit by a bus, no one would be able to treat you properly and that could have fatal consequences”, wonderful. I didn’t mention that I always wait for the green man.

So after paying A+E a visit I now have notes at my local hospital, but I need a consultant there as well apparently (which is fair enough) and a few weeks a go I went back to the hospital to meet Mrs local Consultant (MLC) and have her do some tests and get to know my history, awesome, fine, not a problem. There was one problem however, MLC didn’t believe anything I said and more annoyingly did not understand my humour and humour is a vital part of my hospital visits, but that’s for another time.

Pretty much the whole session was her asking me questions like “do you drink a lot of alcohol?”

“Not often, and not much when I do, I’m a light-weight”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes…?”

After that it was pretty much the same about drugs, smoking, walking, eating habits etc and then this happened:

“what are your birth control needs?”

“I’m sorry what?”

“Birth control, has someone spoken to you about what you can and can’t take?”

Yes, when I was 16 we had the chat”

“ok so what are your current birth control needs?”

“I have none, I mainly use my personality”.

“Hummmmm….” *unhappy face*

Awkward. I’m unsure if she didn’t get it, believe me or whole heartily agreed that it was probably true.

So after I went on about with my life and pretty much forgot all about it until I got a letter the other day (just as usual after a check up) and upon reading it a few things jumped out at me, my favourite being “…the potential catastrophe should she develop a thrombus..” I really really like the use of the term ‘potential catastrophe’, and based on that alone I think that maybe, my first impression of Mrs Local Consultant might have been wrong, there are also other bit in there that made me think that maybe she does get me.

Luckily she has decided I’m okay and don’t need to see her for another 2 years, unless of course, I get hit by that bus…..