We missed most of Glass City Vice (sorry, but Tunbridge Wells has an incredible Wetherspoons), HeyRoccoo were awful. I have never regretted leaving a Spoons as much as I listening to them. It was Shocking/Funny.

Thankfully The Xcerts were there to take their noise induced pain away by diving headfirst into songs from 'There is only you'.  

Blitz Kids

Young Guns haven't played in Brighton long while and they are back tonight at a sold out show at the Haunt.

Blitz kids open with a strong set, proving that they can fill the gaps in both hearts and charts left by some recently departed bands.

They tore through their set starting with' I want out' to the closing of 'Bones' mixing in some new songs, to dance to (and dance we did) and songs old songs to sing to (and singalong we did). Highlights new songs teasers of the new album in the form of ‘Rising up’ and ‘Daylight’.
 

Young Guns

So the truth of the matter is that it's not that bad, I mean it's not a rave, but it's not as bad as it sounds.

Once I'd put on my sexy hospital gown taken out all my jewelry, I had a line put in and got hooked up to an ECG machine. Then I put on my super ear defenders (it's a really, really noisy machine) and the table moved me into to tube.
Once you're in the machine its pretty simple you lay there listen to the radio through the headphones and hold your breath when instructed.

The worst part (for me) is waiting for the nurse to speak to me through the headphones for the first time (silence + waiting for noise = anticipation, along the lines of balloon popping) and the table moving me into the tube (thankfully its not a really enclosed tunnel).

My scan took a little over two hours, but mine took a bit longer than planned due to scar tissue, and I opted in for some extra scans for research but it went quickly, probably helped along by listening to 80s and 90s music from Absolute radio.  

Afterwards I came out and had a good giggle, When you think that I was just hanging out inside a big magnet, wearing amazing ear defenders (I cannot stress to you enough how massive they are) while someone has a look at my insides it is a ridiculous situation, and it my life! Hahahah!!

My advice for anyone else having an MRI, don't wear lots of metal, don't panic and make sure you eat/sleep properly before hand because being hungry and tired makes it worse.

I did also manage to take a walk up to the Tower of London and back with Mumma B.

Writing about stuff that is hard to deal with is supposed to make it easier to deal with (well that is what all the professionals, and non professional will tell you).

I’ve never bothered with any kind of therapy, counselling or support group. Mainly because when I was a 5 and about to have some crazy major surgery, they insisted you speak to the on ward psychologist to ‘understand what is going to happen to you’, and my psychologist decided that it would be a good idea for me to see my new on ward friend in intensive care. It was not. That is what I still have nightmares about. I can’t remember much about being in intensive care but seeing my friend lifeless, hooked up to all the machines just hours after playing on the ward? That I remember. 

Surely therapy would make it harder to deal with? I don’t need to go somewhere to be reminded that I can’t walk up hills, and I can’t take talking about it in a serious manner and I don’t think a therapist would agree with spending a hour making ‘when I die’ jokes.

I have a diary that gets used every few months, when something good happens, or when I need to have a little melt down.

That’s maybe why I find updating this blog tougher than I thought it would be. Nobody sees the tears and the worries,  because letting everyone see them won’t help. It will mean that I will see faces of pity and sorrow. You wouldn’t be happy that I was okay, you would be sad that I’m not happy all the time. 

So this is where the stuff I want you to see goes. 

everything else goes in my diary. I think if I had a  therapist they’d say this was a break though. 

Something I hear a lot are the words ‘oh you're so brave’ or ‘ooohhh I don't ever think I could be as brave as you’.
These ridiculous phrases were thrown at me recently when I was talking to someone about going to the dentist, because as everyone knows going to the dentist can be the scariest thing ever (although as I learnt last week, actually some dentists can be wonderful, like actual tooth fairies- but that’s for another rant, once my teeth are all fixed and beautiful).
People like to tell me I’m brave, and I don’t think I am, I think I get on with it, and that’s not being brave, if anything that’s casually ignoring it.

For me being brave meant wearing a bikini on the beach a few weeks ago, or going to a hairdresser (seriously, it terrifies me). But I think bravery is like beauty, it’s in the eye of the beholder.

Everyone is brave in someone else’s eyes and sometimes, (as we all should do on days we feel ugly and ‘eugh’) we are all brave (and beautiful) even if we don’t see it, or forget it.

So well done on being brave.

Have a sticker to celebrate your braveness, and to congratulate those around you.

(yup, as made by me in about 2min, if you can make a better one then add it too the comments below)

Today is International Happiness Day! Woooohhhhooo!!

As a generally happy person who seems to be living in a world of doom and gloom (well that is the impression I get from my Twitter and Facebook feeds) I get so fed up with everyone’s negativity, and the fact that everyone blames something or someone else for their miserableness.

I know not everyone can be happy all the time, and sometimes you can be in a rubbish mood for no reason, but I think people, overall need to look at the brightside of life. Things could be worse, it just depends on how you look at them. 

We are all responsible for our own happiness and shouldn’t put our happiness in other peoples hands but when everyone is being so negative it is hard to be happy, and if you are (and you’re me) you will feel guilty for being happy, which is a ludicrous idea.

Everyone has a reason to be happy( and everyone should have a happiness list of things/ times/ thoughts that make you happy, but not people because of they upset yo, you’ll need your happiness list!).

Here are some of the things that are on my Happiness list;

Walking along the beach; Closer to the edge by 30 Seconds to Mars; playing with my pet cat;  watching Pride and prejudice; I’m still breathing: Reading Festival memories; and Fall Out boy.

I also enjoy pictures of cats; here have one, to make you smile…..

We all have are flaws, everyone, some are just better at hiding them than others and other people own them better than others.

One of my major ‘flaws’ is that I’m shy.

This actually isn't a flaw (well I don’t think) and you know why?? I do it well. I am amazing at being shy and introverted. Because I know its what I am like, and guess what!? I’m totally okay with it!! Really.

People have tried to get me to ‘come out if my shell’ and ‘be more confident’. But why?? In my eyes that just means you don’t like the person I am which incidentally doesn't do a lot for my confidence and then how the hell do I feel less shy?? Hummmmm?

I feel more confident when I’m comfortable with people and when I don’t feel pressured to ‘get more involved’ in a social situation.

So I’m okay in feeling shy, and it happens to work well for me. So in the nicest possible way.
LEAVE ME ALONE!

(That loud enough for you?)

:)